In 2006 I had the experience of meeting my Twin Flame, nothing that I have read or thought I understood prepared me for this meeting. I have to acknowledge that I had a some what romantic view on this event and had imagined a much different experience. I met this man whilst teaching a workshop and realised that there was a big connection between us, however I usually feel a big connection to all the participants and to be honest this actually felt no different than that.

As part of the follow up of this particular workshop I decided that I would hold a group support evening once a month. Four weeks later just before leaving on holiday I held the first group and this man and another colleague were the only ones to attend. It was a very relaxed evening working through some of the post workshop assignments and chatting about skiing and what I and my friends would be doing over the next two weeks. This man turned out to be a snow boarder and as we chatted I learned that he was a scuba diver (as was I) and as he described some of his other life experiences he could have been describing my own life. I felt huge empathy for this chap who didn’t treat me as some rare spiritual teacher, but as a human being. He was cheeky, flirty, interesting and fun; he was also at first glance well over 10 years younger than I.

Over the next couple of week’s while on holiday, thoughts of this man came quite regularly into my mind to be banished with the ease of a professional dealing with a problem client. I was on holiday and increasingly annoyed that he was invading my space without invitation to do so.

The weekend we returned to the UK I was giving a talk at a large Mind/Body/Spirit Show were this man was helping our organisation to run a stand. As things turned out he was the only person who was free when it came time to give the talk that could leave the stand and help me out with flyers etc… It felt very natural to have him there as a support and good to spend some time chatting and playing with him and others during the day. One of the things that I noticed that day was how helpful and kind he was…steady with no apparent drama… my mind said what a nice guy.

On returning to the UK I only had a couple of weeks at home before I was heading north to my sister’s to run her businesses while she was overseas. I had packed into those weeks a very busy schedule of teaching and seeing personal clients along with a couple of support groups. One of these was the support group that this man attended the month before. On this particular day I had set out in plenty of time to get there in time, but somehow got to the stage of running late. I received a text from this guy to say that he was also running late. We arrived both at the same time.

It was clear to me from the beginning that there was a lot of energy in the room, but again my colleague and this guy were the only ones there… I couldn’t quite believe it but was willing to be shown what to do and how to run this very small group. They got on with their work and I did some stuff for other people. I have to admit that I’m not a person who can sit for long not doing something, so half way through the evening while chatting I asked this chap whether he would like me to do some work for him. The answer was yes, so I proceeded to complete some in depth work which can have life changing results…I’ve asked myself a hundred no a thousand times since than if I had known the results of this would I have gone ahead and the answer is I still don’t know… During this investigation it came to light that this man had a Siamese soul, which in fact was his twin flame and that that person was me… I had a real problem with this information and checked, double checked and triple checked the results desperately trying to find a floor in my research and not wanting to share what I had found out… even while I was trying to disprove my own research I knew what I had found was the truth, which scared me rigid. I went outside smoked a couple of cigarettes and then returned to check again the results… each time I got the same answers and each time I questioned the results.

By this time, he obviously realised that I was having difficulty with some aspect of the research that I was carrying out and asked what it was. I gave him and my colleague a list of things for them to check out and they both got the same results that I had done.

I sat there in shock, horror and surprise as I got a deep, deep knowing that I was sitting next to my Twin Flame. A real sense of duality descended… my soul was calm and elated; my conscious mind was in chaos desperately looking for a way out… This can’t be true… This is not meant to happen like this… What about the age difference… I needed time to adjust… I needed this not to be so… I needed out… I needed to scream… this is not fair…this is not what I asked for… I never signed up for this… oh god, why me? Why now? Just when I got my life sorted! Hell, I have no idea what this means! Oh GOD HELP!!! As God did help by quietening my mind I realised that the man sitting next to me was in as much reaction as me and I started to feel enormous love and empathy for this man. I started to think ok so if this is so what does it mean in the real world… nothing it’s just information there is no need to get hooked up into this… hey I don’t even need to see this guy again after tonight… as some of these thoughts were bouncing around my head, my soul was rejoicing, in celebration, knowing that it had a unique opportunity here to explore the meaning of this and to heal the past and move directly and finally into a glorious future. I took what I thought was the only sensible choice, closed down, centred self and ran like hell.

What that looked like was to clear all negative aspects of the relationship, finish the session and say we’ll talk about this again… right now I’m too tired to investigated this more right now!  After he had left I talked it through with my colleague who was my business partner and friend, and the conclusion I came to was… What the hell it’s a spiritual relationship obviously it’s come at this time for a reason…was I really going to throw away a gift from God… there’s no harm in investigating this further… for heaven’s sake it’s not like it’s going to go any further than that. What I noticed during this talk was the difference between what I was feeling and what my mind was saying… How can I be a Siamese soul with this person when there was a big age difference… knowing that time is man made and there is no time in spirit didn’t help me get my mind around the information it had received.    

The next day as I tried to concentrate on the work at hand I felt shattered, unfocused, confused, tired, over emotional, venerable, over exposed and shitty. I tried to use all the tools I had learnt to break through it and nothing worked. Every time I thought I just tell this guy it’s a non starter… I felt so bereft that I wanted to howl in pain… I felt I was going insane. Half way through the day I got a text from this guy saying that he felt like shit too and it jogged me out of my stuff into the bigger picture. I took the option then to try and take control of my own stuff and did a breathwork session… it was very powerful and intense and helped me feel calmer and less controlled by my emotions.

The next morning I got a further text from him saying or what I felt was making light of the situation and that he was feeling like shit because of some other stuff that he had done… I responded by saying yes but this is enormous however, don’t brush it under the carpet… I was surprised to get a call from him a couple of hours later when we had a long chat… it felt good to talk and we agreed to explore this together, own our own feelings even if it may well feel like hurtling down a black run on occasions, both exciting and scary…

Although I felt that I knew this man very well on a soul and energetic level I had only met him a few times and had no clear idea of who he was on a personal level. I felt that this needed to be addressed so committed to doing that and to explore the spiritual connection between us.

We started to talk on a regular basis everyday and when I went north to my sister’s sometimes a couple of times a day depending on what the day brought, this was a challenging time for me personally with being out of my own home running someone else’s businesses and dealing with and settling into a new spiritual relationship with someone I didn’t really know.

What I did know was that every time I spoke to him I found out things that I liked or that were an echo of myself. Looking back at that those weeks I now realised that I fell in love with him. I saw him twice during that time, once for a couple of hours when he meet my parents and once for an evening while he was working on my computer when we arranged for him to visit my sister’s over Easter. My sister would be home with her family at that stage and I thought that would be great opportunity to get to know him better in a safe space. My sister has 3 lively boys and a mad husband who would entertain anyone. After working very hard and long hours during that time with all the drama of my mother being rushed into hospital I was so tried my ego was finding hard to stay in control, I had faced and dealt with most of the fear around meeting my Twin Flame and was so grateful for the mental and emotional support that he gave me day after day.

He was due to arrive Good Friday afternoon, I had gone to the Reptile Zoo that my sister and her husband run that day to hand things back over and help out at a children’s party, so arranged to meet my twin there. The children’s party had just started when he arrived. When he walked in it was as if my whole being and energy system lit up I felt an enormous surge of the most exquisite energy and realised I was overjoyed to see him. Here was my twin and I had finally got the significance of it, this was an amazing remembrance, a re-uniting, here was two whole beings uniting, merging and dancing in the light of their yin and yang again. We would not consciously or unconsciously separate again on our return to the source.  

That Easter was magical as we got to know each other as friends although I must admit to an huge underlying chemistry that was bubbling underneath the surface. We kept on reminding each other that this was a slow burn relationship. However the stage had been set and we talked for hours each day and saw each other when we could.

The history that we learnt about each other was amazing. Luke had been to a Reiki Share two years before meeting me. It had been run by one of my students. A colleague had spoken to him about Reiki and had mentioned my name as a good teacher... Luke had apparently heard my name and said Yes I must meet her... within a couple of months he had moved from the UK to New Zealand, before he left he had had a reading performed and had been told he would come back from New Zealand and meet someone who would be his wife and that she would be a lot older than him.  

The relationship that Luke and I have is truly supportive and nurturing; it’s challenging, spiritual, passionate, trusting, fun, serious, adult, playful, stimulating and joyous. It is something we invest in and have committed to 100%. Communication is what keeps it thrilling and integrity is what keeps it clear. There is no game playing or drama just total honesty, taking absolute responsibility for ourselves and unconditional love for ourselves, each other and everything and everyone else.

Our home is in God and each other. Luke and I got married in August 2007

1. Hales says:
   Wednesday, 12 May 2010 at 21:30PM

   GOOD JOB!!!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXX

2. Jill Pay says:
   Wednesday, 12 May 2010 at 22:51PM

   Having known Pennie for over 15 years I have to say that as soon as I saw her and Luke together it felt like I was in the presence of a pure loving, God-given energy. There was the purest, most intimate connection between them - as though energetically you couldn't put a cigarette paper between them. I know that they went through some very turbulent times in the early days - especially as twin flames clearing the same stuff at the same time (fireworks!) ... but the love was always present and just grew and continues to grow and sustain. It is a privilege to witness this happy reunion of twin souls in this lifetime. I love them both tremendously. Jill xx

3. Donna and Dan says:
   Wednesday, 27 October 2010 at 02:55AM

   Your story is so lovely and inspirational. I have met my twin soul who is 15 years younger he is 35 and i'm 50 it's everything you have spoken of I just feel so incredibly loved and I'm so amazed at how many times i feel like I'm looking and seeing myself... i'm so thankful in this lifetime to have the privilege of being with my twin soul. And yes how true the turbulent times clearing out addictions and things that had to go and are still being delt with I could write for ages about our journey it's just so incredibly real and connected. I believed and God delivered.